The truth about apologies and why you don’t deserve one

photo courtesy of missypublicjunk.com

photo courtesy of missypublicjunk.com

Conflict, at times, is inevitable but the older you get the more you know that resolution is a choice. I can count on my hands and toes (and probably yours too) the number of times I’ve had a disagreement and required someone to apologize before I could move forward in forgiving them.

In childhood, parents teach their children to apologize when they do something wrong. I do the same with my three-year-old. When he is disobedient, I require him to apologize and when I forgive him, we move forward. At times, even when he is being stubborn and refuses to apologize, I still forgive him and move forward with the days tasks or events.

As you get older, you have to learn that an apology does not validate who you are. The truth is, apologies don’t mean anything. Half of the time, when people apologize we still don’t forgive them until we get good and ready to, so what was the purpose of them apologizing?

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Getting Grown

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I remember as a kid I used to always say how I couldn’t wait until I got older. I would roll my eyes (behind my mothers back of course) and silently suck my teeth while my mother chastised me, for who knows what, repeating to myself how I couldn’t wait until I got old enough to do whatever it is I want. Well that day came and when it came not only did I realize I was old enough to make decisions but what I did realize was I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All of those moments of wishing and hoping for the opportunity and there I sat dumbfounded and clueless as to what the rush was about. So, what did I decide to do? I decided to grow up and take responsibility for myself and my family. By that time I was a soon to be 30 y/o woman with a husband a 13 y/o stepson and a 3 y/o little boy. While I could have chosen to just do what was good enough, I decided to break the mold and do what I truly felt like doing…leaving.

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